2020, hands down, has been the best year of my life.
The intention and energy I got at the beginning of the year were to “retreat”—to re-commit, to re-nourish, and to re-build. I had a deep sense that I needed to rethink everything I had previously known and refocus my attention on building my life from the ground up. It was clear that accomplishing any of my deep desires wouldn’t happen without a strong foundation to build on.
The end of 2019 and the beginning of 2020 started in a place of confusion for me. I had huge dreams in my heart that I didn’t know how to fulfill. And I had entered the new year feeling pretty lost. I knew my God-given desires were for a reason but I didn’t know how to navigate them.
January through May I slowly started to honor what I felt in my spirit to do. I took the pressure off myself to show up on social media in any particular way and began thinking about the next steps for my business and what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.
I talked about my spiritual awakening in this podcast, but basically, I was in the “dark night of the soul” phase for most of 2019 and the first 5 months of 2020.
I knew there was more for my life but I was so lost. I had “left my body” as I like to call it and didn't even know it. And I was blind to the fact that I didn't even know who I was. My intentions were pure and I was taking action from the right place--I just hadn't woken up to my personal power yet.
And that’s when the journey of the greatest awakening of my life began:
At the end of May, I began working with a therapist, and shortly after a mindset coach. I’ll save this topic for another day, but to put it simply—mindset coaching has completely changed my life (I’ve since stopped working with a therapist).
Oh, and I should probably mention that in May I also began training for my first marathon. #NoBigDeal 😏😝
May through September I trained for a marathon, went to therapy, and worked with my mindset coach. During this time, I also took the pressure completely off of myself to “figure out the next step in my business” and just honored taking care of myself. That was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
During these 4 months, my entire self-concept changed.
As someone who has always struggled with people-pleasing and codependency, it’s no secret that my happiness belonged to everyone else except to me. I depended completely on other people to tell me my worth and I put all of my stock into external validation. In short— I had no self-confidence, was a victim to my past, and put everyone else’s opinion above my own.
The first idea that really sparked the transformation of my self-concept was when I began to understand “getting my own back” and what it meant to “no longer abandon myself”. I also learned that self-confidence is just a belief… that I didn’t need proof or evidence to be confident— I could literally just believe in myself and that was enough. Another huge piece of the puzzle? Healing people-pleasing for good (well, for the most part. #RecoveringPeoplePleaser).
I finally understood that when I people-please I’m really just abandoning myself—my needs, my wants, my desires… my truth. This principle alone has been completely life-changing for me. I finally realized that I actually DO know what’s best for me. I now value my own opinion and thoughts over anyone else’s… I finally feel confident …for the first time in my life. #ThankYouJesus
There’s a lot I could say on the topic of people-pleasing and codependency since they are so intertwined but I’ll save that topic for another day too. To write a “simple blog post” on all that’s happened this year just isn’t doable. There’s just too much to say and share… and it’s part of the reason why I’m finally starting a podcast in early 2021! Yeeeeeeet. I’m so excited!
Okay, back to this year’s recap.
In October, I ran my first marathon. Given the virtual reality of this year, I decided to create my own freakin marathon— the “Crazy Covid Classic” (take that 2020). I made race bibs and medals for my sister and I (who ran with me 😊 ) and mapped out 26.2 miles around our hometown. October 17th, 2020 was one of the best days of my life. Not only did I crush an incredible goal, but my family SHOWED UP for my sister and I in ways that completely undid me.
Every mile it seemed friends and family were tracking us down, cheering us on with signs and car honks, playing music from a speaker… running or biking with us… I can’t tell you how much it meant to me. My family made me feel so loved that day—I will never forget it! And I actually can’t imagine a better first marathon experience than to be surrounded and cheered on by the people who love you the most.
Not only that—but the spiritual symbolism of completing that marathon after completely transforming who I was… it was such a special moment. Oh, and our finishing time? 4:44. Yep, angel numbers! 444 is a common sign of spiritual awakening. Seeing that finishing time on my watch helped solidify that my transformation was complete. I had overcome my greatest trial—healing the relationship with myself and had made the journey back home… back to myself.
Also, in that same month, my husband and I began looking for a house back on the west side of the state. Both of our families live in the same city and with COVID completely turning all of our lives upside down and making working remote possible—we decided the time was right to move out of Detroit and to be back with family.
As of December 4th, my husband and I are officially living back in Kalamazoo in our very first home! And it’s perfect. And I love it so much. Both my husband and I are so happy to be home! All the family time we’ve had just over the past couple of weeks has been so healing and heartwarming. #ItsGoodToBeHome
WHAT. A. FREAKIN. YEAR.
God is so good. I’m so thankful for everything that happened in these past 12 months. Just when you think everything is falling apart, God has a way of aligning things better than you could’ve ever imagined.
If there’s one lesson I’d like to share with you from this past year it’s this— take the time to get in tune with your spirit. Honor what it is that you feel in your heart to do. Trust the promptings… your spirit knows how to lead you when you don’t know how.
I’m so stoked for 2021. I know this upcoming year is going to be monumental. I’ve got some exciting things in store and I can’t wait to share them with you. One of them being that I recently updated my website— check it out! As you’ll see, I’m now offering 1:1 mindset coaching 🤩 .
If you’re interested in working with me 1 on 1, fill out this application!
I hope this year was good to you in the midst of the world being in chaos. Remember, turn within. You are the creator of the world you experience… true peace begins with you. Don’t ever forget that.
Sending you so much love this holiday season! ❤️✨
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